Exodus: Post-deliverance

First of all, the Ten Commandments. If I understand correctly, everybody at the bottom of Mount Sinai listens to God speaking them. Right before the Ten Commandments begin, Moses is supposed to be bringing Aaron up the mountain after forbidding anybody else to climb Mount Sinai. But Moses just “went down to the people and told them,” (Exodus 19:25) and suddenly “God spoke all these words” (20:1). Then Moses goes “near to the thick darkness where God was” (20:21) and God repeats himself about not having any other gods (specifically, not gold or silver gods). Then he says “You need make for me only an altar of earth and sacrifice on it your burnt offerings and your offerings of well-being, your sheep and your oxen” (20:24). This is rather ironic, because just a few chapters later God dedicates all of chapters 25-30 explaining precisely how the altar is to be built and how the offering is going to be made, and that is not the “only” thing God requires. He needs the tabernacle in which the altar will be placed to be made in a precise manner. There needs to be a lampstand, a curtain, a certain kind of oil for the lamp, ornate vestments for priests, ephods and breastplates, all painstakingly described to the most minute detail. This must be the work of P. Maybe J wrote chapter 20, when God didn’t seem so picky, but P had to jump in and insist that God was very demanding in his specifications. Is this another scare tactic or just a way to keep devout worshipers busy? It’s hard to say. Why does God need all of these things to be so expensive? Everything is gold, gold, gold, silver, fine linen, expensive, the best. God is certainly greedy. He isn’t even on Earth, it’s not like he can use them. Just the thought of this is frustrating to me. I want to tell God, Stop being so demanding! Isn’t it good enough for people to acknowledge you and worship you and try to live the way you’d want them to? Why do you need all of these extraneous things???

Now, about the offerings themselves. Again, Exodus 20:24 just says “burnt offerings and your offerings of well-being, your sheep and your oxen.” But 29:38 says two lambs a year old need to be sacrificed every day. I don’t care how many lambs were on the earth at that time, that is way too much wasted life and meat. Plus, God also wants things which will provide “pleasing odors.” This comes back to the question of a “jealous God” or as Nick suggests, a “lonely God.” Now I’m pretty convinced he’s a greedy God, and maybe a little OCD (very OCD). What is he going to do with all of those lambs? He’s God, he doesn’t eat them. Does he really need reassurance twice a day that his followers are willing to perform such wasteful and ridiculous acts just because he told them? Now that I think about it, it’s like a power trip. Maybe even funny. Ha ha, look at those people killing their best livestock and the future of their flock just because I told them to. After they already used everything they own to build me an ornate tabernacle and are living in poverty. Now maybe they’ll starve to death. I’m so cool, I’m God.

The only reason people need God to provide is because he forces them to give him everything, at this point.

Maybe I took this a little too far, but it frustrates me.

Anyway, back to chapters 21-24. Does anybody else think it’s weird that one of the first things God specifies (after his first, brief altar “law”) is the slave law? God says, “When you buy a male Hebrew slave…” (21:2), which confuses me a little. Aren’t God’s followers Hebrews? I mean, they are referred to as Israelites, but Merriam-Webster says the two terms are basically synonyms. So is God condoning slavery of one’s own people? To be fair, what God then describes sounds more like indentured servitude (if I remember correctly, it is almost exactly like the indentured servitude of people trying to become American citizens back in the day). Then there are female slaves, and I can’t figure out if they are merely sex slaves or wives bought at a price, because 21:10 says “If he takes another wife to himself, he shall not diminish the food, clothing, or marital rights of the first wife.” I’m not a fan of God at this point. He hardly thinks of women as people, which pisses me off, to say the least. From what I can tell, he thinks of them as sexual objects. This is not okay.

I can tell farming and herding were of extreme importance, because about half of the laws relate to them, and they are very specific.

I am no longer phased by the thought of people killing in the name of the Lord, because God just loves killing people, for a large number of reasons he is sure to specify. The most ridiculous incidence of mass murder occurs right after Moses comes down from Mt. Sinai and is pissed to find out about the golden calf.

Side note: The people have very recently heard the voice of God and feared him and refused to go near him or see him. Now they somehow forget this and want something they can see to worship. I guess this is just another incidence of how incredibly stupid people can be.

So Moses gathers the few people “on the Lord’s side” and tells them, specifically, “each of you kill your brother, your friend, and your neighbor.” HE DOESN’T EVEN SAY “THE PEOPLE WHO WORSHIPPED THE GOLDEN CALF.” HE WANTS THEM TO KILL THEIR BROTHER, FRIEND, AND NEIGHBOR. This is, to put it bluntly, fucked up. Then he praises them for it! “Today you have ordained yourselves for the service of the Lord, each one at the cost of a son or a brother, and so have brought a blessing on yourselves this day” (32:29).

Let me get this straight. If I kill my brother, friend, and/or neighbor (let’s just throw in, because they don’t worship God), then I will be blessed? I’m not sure about this whole idea.

THEN, to make things even better, Moses tells the surviving sinners, hey, maybe I can ask god to forgive you now. You’re lucky you didn’t know any of the holy men who just went on a killing spree! Now you can be redeemed. At least God doesn’t give in to Moses’ suggestion this time, and instead opts to send a plague on the calf-worshippers.

That's pretty much my rant on Exodus. Since I've been on such a blogging hiatus, maybe more will come tonight...there's still lacunae to be addressed about Abraham and Isaac, not to mention Northrop Frye.